You are going to think that all my neighbors hate me but they don’t, I am really a very likable person, but there are some people that I don’t care for and I simply will not make an efforts to be nice to them just to be nice – they aren’t worth it. I feel like Katherine Bates in Fried Green Tomatoes when she stole that parking spot from those 20-somethings.
Aside from the foo foo dog people, there is really only one other person who annoys me in our neighborhood; the late 30-something father who thinks he is still 17. He wears baggy shorts and a T-shirt all the time, works on his car in the drive-way, does next to nothing to help his wife with their four kids, unless of course it is helping the older two with sports in the yard. He thinks he is all sorts of women candy and walks out of the house checking to see who is looking at him.
But, that isn’t the reason I can’t stand him. The real reason is that he purposely doesn’t have a muffler on his car and every time he comes and goes the entire neighborhood rumbles with the sounds of his music blaring over the unmuffled car engine. Now, you may be thinking, this isn’t the end of the world. Well, there is one more piece to the puzzle, the Paul Harvey piece – if you will. Mr. Studmuffins here works nights. So, we can be in bed with the windows closed and still have the sound of his car and radio wake us from a dead sleep every evening between 10:25 and 10:30 like clockwork and then again in the morning when he returns between 6:30 and 7:00 (even on Saturday and Sunday mornings).
It is rather obviously that Mr. Studmuffins would like to return to his younger years, revving car engines to get women’s attention and dressing like a stud because he is just beyond cool. Well, Pal, you are about two days from my wrath because you have an unhealthy sense of self-worth and entitlement. Thinking that you can make the kind of noise you do and no one would dare say anything, well, you certainly don’t know one of your neighbors very well … but you will soon!