Happy Sunday, Readers!
I have decided that with this nasty cold that I am taking over our bedroom for the day to do whatever I want! Yeah, a rare selfish moment! So, here I sit watching Law & Order: SVU, not one of my faves but the beginning of the episode looked promising and within about 10 minutes of the episode I had my blog theme for the day – the clueless.
In this episode someone steals a canister of embryos from a fertility clinic and the detectives get a list of clients who might have had something against the clinic. One of the people they speak with is a wife who is a dwarf, like my Bella. As the detectives interview her she explains that the reason she and her husband, also a dwarf, were using the fertility clinic was because they wanted the clinic to implant an embryo that would result in a dwarf child just like them. Just a quick informational break – when two dwarfs hope to have a child there is a 25% chance that the child is average height, 50% that it is a dwarf and 25% chance that the child has what is called a double-dominate gene and those in this last category do not survive. So, this dwarf couple were trying to avoid the double-dominate gene and shoot for the 50% range.
Former rapper Ice-T, as Detective Tutuola, while interviewing this dwarf wife asked, “Why would you want to bring a child with a disability into the world?” The look on his face was one of confused disgust. I actually rewound the DVR to watch the scene again because it ticked me off beyond belief. The mentality of the clueless and uneducated never ceases to amaze me. I guess you just have to have a cursory understanding of pop-culture to write for a TV show these days.
Thankfully the dwarf wife retorted, “Forgive me for wanting a child that looks just like me. You get to have that luxury, why shouldn’t I?” and then she went on to explain to him that Achondroplasia isn’t a disability, etc.
But this entire scene just frosted my ass to no end. The superficiality of our culture continues to grow almost exponentially and with the constant emphasis on genetics and people screening sperm donors based on physical characteristics and/or intelligence is beyond sickening. This dovetails off of the story that became front-page news last week about the fabulous waiter in Houston, TX who refused to serve a family when the father made rude and insulting comments toward a boy with Downs Syndrome who was also dining at the same restaurant with his own family. Kudos to the waiter and big “bite-me” to this piss-poor father. I hope he has gotten so many unpleasant phone calls that he and his family had to change their phone number.
What the flip is wrong with these people? Their twisted sense of superiority and God-like knowledge of what is right and wrong makes me want to knee them in the nuggets and then slap them sane. I get those looks all the time when I am out with Bella and there have been more than a few people who have gotten a education with my face about six inches from theirs. In the beginning I would just ignore the comment and give people a nervous smile, not say a word and just walk away. Now, it is the complete opposite, I either send the kids off with The Hub or send them to another part of the store and then the gloves are off.
Here is the thing, these ignoramuses say this BS because in their demented worldview they expect us to revert like a turtle and hide in our shell. HA HA! NOT! I have told people that God never gave them a special child because He knew they couldn’t handle it. So what does that mean? Yeah, I *am* better than you are, Jackass. I have a whole catalog of comments that I hand out like fortune cookies for the ignorant. Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t lash out at every single person that looks cross-eyed at Bella. Over the years I have learned to glean if an individual (child or adult) is understandably curious or out to make fun of or mock my daughter. Remember that 6th Sense I talked about a few days ago? We special needs moms have it – its a fact, so don’t hate.
It is *so* easy to judge when you allow South Park to be your Wikipedia. But when your five year old is dragging you down an aisle of a store screaming, “Come on, Mommy! You have to see it!” and comes around the end-cap pointing at my daughter, trust me, mouthing “I’m sorry,” to me ain’t gonna cut it, Sister. This is a teaching moment and if you aren’t going to seize the moment, I will. Yes, this really happened, my daughter was called an “it.” Hello People! This is all behavior that is either directly taught by you, the parents or it is learned from people that you allow near your child. Including from the insane TV shows that you allow to babysit your children. So, to conclude, because of your poor parenting choices, you will be humiliated, in public, by yours truly.
Schools can post as many anti-bullying posters they want but unless parents, teachers and administrators take a good hard look at what they do to perpetuate this kind of thinking, nothing is going to change. You might as well take all that money spent on anti-bullying programs and drop it into my PayPal account. Like it or not, teachers and even an administrator or two are just as guilty as the “I’m sorry” Mom because they perpetuate this crap by not doing anything about it or by contributing to it. Many teachers just don’t have the patience or tolerance when dealing with special needs kids. I have actually heard teachers say, “I don’t do special ed.” They think they know better than we do on how to motivate and teach our children and in some cases, they refuse to listen to us … to the detriment of our kids.
The Clueless have no idea what our world is like and to be honest, most don’t really want to know. They just smile at us with an appeasing smile and then, as they walk away from us, they thank God that it is us and not them. Little do they know that we are the thankful ones and they, they are the ones that God needs to work on.